Cherlynn

301087, Communications, UB.
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happy 2009 one and all ~ =)

so I had kind of a mellow New Year's Eve. Went to visit the old tuition kid t1, mainly coz I missed t3 soooo much! The little darling~ Sadly, after I disappeared for 4 months, she didn't really remember who I was anymore and I had to rekindle (lol) the familiarity and all. But yea we got back on the right footing again! Stayed there for quite awhile just chilling with the girls and their mom.









Then went for family gathering as per tradition... Hanging with the cuzzies is kinda fun LOL. I love torturing (i.e. raping. LOL) some of them *ahem* DING *ahem*. We had lots of fun =)




Yea. Haha and plans to go for some form of fun countdown thing all fell through. Stayed later than I'd expected at Godma's.. I originally wanted to club but found myself lacking the energy to do so.. Sorry charmaine! =( Picked mom up at Goodwood Park Hotel after her wedding dinner thing, passed by Orchard and was super turned off by the amount of well, foreigners there. Then saw the countdown party at Marina on TV and was turned off by the crowd and the image of Adrian Pang singing.

Really just wanted to hit a pub somewhere but then turned off by the lack of public transport available to get me home at 3am (ideal time, to me, for me to get home) So yea, all these conspired to stop me from going out =(

Anyways yea had a chill NYE haha. Meeting up with xyz tomorrow for lunch =) Should be fun heh. Alright time for Song of the dayyyy


Next Plane Home - Daniel Powter
I woke up early to baby blue eyes from the afar whoah whoah
and when the sun comes through and lights you like the angel you are whoah whoah
I know I do you wrong when I’m with you I’ve been gone

With every season change, it looks the same (november to june) whoah whoah
And dont these empty streets skip a beat the flowers dont bloom whoah whoah

I can’t believe I missed your birthday again
and I wanna come back but I just don’t know when now

And I’m so lonely your not here with me
That’s why I’m gonna be on the next plane home

The road that never ends around the bend I see your smile whoah whoah
I’d swim across the sea to be with you for a while whoah whoah
cos I’m made a life would be gone
now the way that I feel I just don’t belong

And I’m so lonely you’re not here with me
thats why I’m gonna be on the next plane home
And you’re you’re the only face I wanna see
thats why I’m gonna be on the next plane home

Stand around try to make every moment
and be somebody yeah anybody
it seems the whole world is taking me over
I need somebody to help me get back to it

and I’ve always been a million miles away
but things are gonna change
I just wanna come home

And you’re you’re the only face I wanna see
thats why I gonna be on the next plane home
yeah I’m taking the next plane home
Now I’m getting the next plane home
Now I’m taking the next plane home



Lol the application of this song is a little bit weird but yea. It's also kinda upbeat, but well. It's a nice song =)
ciao guys! happy 2009! resolutions in next post =)
i'm staying away to save myself

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so i had a fun day yesterday!

went out with nicole babe =) we hit TOWN like at last hahaha. had lots of fun ok. first we met up at Wisma, shopped a bit, talked a lot, realized that TopShop (the place we wanted to meet at) had closed down wtf. Went to Bebe and stylistically analyzed every item of clothing they have LOL. Then headed to Wheelock coz I wanted to get a book from Borders lol. Had freaking too much fun there laughing at weird books. I ended up getting something by Sophie Kinsella.

Had early dinner at around 4pm at nydc@wheelock! Sat there for 2hrs+ just chatting chatting and chatting omg I love chatting wit you nic!!! Damn we talk too much abt dirty stuff. HAHAHAHAHA. But I love it! lol. Oh and another thing I love about hanging wit nic is how we can complain about hating some things about Singapore, what we miss about UB etc.. We can miss US together!!! Heh. Camwhored a bit too =)

After that, we made our way to FarEast, shopped TOO MUCH there! And laughed a lot tooooo sheesh. OMG i had so much fun i just can't believe it. We also took pics of the Xmas lightup along Orchard rd and all. Yea.

Pics are on facebook so head over there to lookie =) Ben! If you don't wanna get fb then you're just gonna lose out!! haha. I'll occasionally post links to fb albums but now i'm just lazy =)


On the home front.. Lol. I've been reading and reading. It's sooooo goood. Therapeutic. haha. I'm re-reading the Left Behind series that I fell in love with i think 4 years ago? Yea. Lol. I bought them online in the States and shipped them home lol. The package arrived a few days ago so I've been reading it. NICEEEE. I love just lazing around and reading at home hehe.

And lol. In typical Cherlynn-fashion, I've managed to actually triple-book myself for today and did not realize it till last night. I was originally supposed to drop by my tuition kid's house today to visit, and forgot all about it, so made plans to meet nic for bowling. Then after that I forgot about that and agreed to meet up with MESC. So i turned MESC down, told nic I couldn't make it, and woke up today feeling altogether too lazy to go anywhere. So i stayed at home!!! Hahahaha. I rock.


Oh wells. I really should get to properly unpacking haha. I've still got a bunch of stuff left to unpack hahaha. Jetlag is kinda wearing off though i still feel awake at night and sleepy in the afternoons. Haha. Oh but I'm suddenly having this desire to do some webdesigning so I think I'm gonna go off and create a layout for a new website. Right, that's what i'm gonna do. HEHE. Alrighty ciao people i'm off to do some designing! lol.

Oh yah, song for today! This was kinda for a more angsty period too though somehow i'm not THAT angsty now. Hmm. But it's a nice song anyways so here goes =)

The Piecs Don't Fit Anymore - James Morrison (didn't I tell you i liked his songs? HEHE)
I've been twisting and turning in a space that's too small
I've been drawing the line and watching it fall
You've been closing me in , closing the space in my heart
Watching us fading and watching it all fall apart

Well I can't explain why it's not enough
Cause I gave it all to you
And if you leave me now
Oh just leave me now
It's the better thing to do
It's time to surrender
It's been too long pretending
There's no use in trying
When the pieces don't fit anymore

The pieces don't fit here anymore

You pulled me under so I had to give in
Such a beautiful mess that's breaking my skin
Well I'll hide all the bruises; I'll hide all the damage that's done
But I show how I'm feeling until all the feeling has gone

Why I can't explain why it's not enough
Cause I gave it all to you
And if you leave me now
Oh just leave me now
It's the better thing to do
It's time to surrender
It's been too long pretending
There's no use in trying
When the pieces don't fit anymore
The pieces don't fit anymore

You pulled me under so I had to give in
Such a beautiful mess that's breaking my skin
Well I'll hide all the bruises; I'll hide all the damage that's done
But I show how I'm feeling until all the feeling has gone

I don't know why

Well I can't explain why it's not enough
Cause I gave it all to you
And if you leave me now
Oh just leave me now
It's the better thing to do
It's time to surrender
It's been too long pretending
There's no use in trying
When the pieces don't fit anymore
The pieces don't fit anymore

The pieces don't fit anymore

Oh, don't misunderstand how I feel
Cause I've tried, yes I've tried
Still I don't know why
No I don't know why



Yupyup! Ok off to Photoshopping now! Ciaoooo~


Oh, don't misunderstand how I feel
Cause I've tried, yes I've tried

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3 Songs of the day to make up for the previous lack of.

Leaving on a Jet Plane - The Corrs
All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go
I'm standing here outside your door
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye

But the dawn is breaking it's early morn
The taxi's waiting he's blowin' his horn
Already I'm so lonesome I could die

CHORUS
So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go
'cause I'm leaving on a jet plane
I don't know when I'll be back again
Oh babe I hate to go

There's so many times I've let you down
So many times I've played around
I tell you now they don't mean a thing

Everyplace I go I'll think of you
Every song I sing I'll sing for you
When I come back I'll wear your wedding ring

CHORUS

Well the time has come to leave you
One more time let me kiss you
Then close your eyes and I'll be on my way

Dream about the days to come
When I won't have to leave you alone
About the times I won't have to say...

CHORUS


This song is so totally appropriate for those of us who had to leave UB=( Parts of it apply to friends, parts of it apply to those with lovers. Parts i italicized apply to those I think it applies to. Haha.

Next 2 songs are just for angsting's sake.

I Drive Myself Crazy - N'Sync
Lying in your arms
So close together
Didnt know just what I had
Now I toss and turn
Cause I'm without you

How I'm missing you so bad
Where was my head?
Where was my heart?
Now I cry alone in the dark

I lay awake
I drive myself crazy
Drive myself crazy
Thinking of you
Made a mistake
When I let you go baby
I drive myself crazy
Wanting you the way that I do

I was such a fool
I couldnt see it
Just how good you were to me

You confessed your love
Undying devotion
I confessed my need to be free
And now Im left
With all this pain
I only got myself to blame

(chorus)

Why didnt I know
(how much I loved you baby)
Why couldnt show it
(if I had only told you)
When I had the chance
Oh I had the chance

(interlude)

(chorus)



Why Are We Still Friends - 98 Degrees
We do almost everything
That lovers do
And that why's it's hard
Just to be friends with you
And everytime your heart is broken
By the fool I want you to know
That it hurts me too
It's hard to wipe your tears away
Knowing you should be with me, tell me

Chorus:
Why, why are we still friends
When everything says
We should be more than what we are
And tell me why
Everytime I find someone that I like
We always end up being just friends


I would hate for you to find somebody new
Who you really love
Cause it could mean losing you
But am I a fool girl not to say
If I'm always scared I'll lose you anyway
Somehow someway I've got to choose
Got to choose no matter if it's win or lose

(repeat chorus)

Bridge:

I don't want to be like your brother
I don't want to be your best friend
I only want to be your lover
When will this end?
If I told you that I want to be in your life?
Then you could be the woman in mine

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If any of you find the above 2 songs familiar then you must know me very very well. They're from really long ago, from a cd from someone =) They just happen to really apply now.

So there you go. 3 Songs of the day! Enjoyyyy~


i'm not thinking anymore. just don't think. it'll be better

Labels: Song of the day

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sometimes i definitely think too much.

and this time i think maybe it's time to stop thinking. I want to become a careerwoman! Just focus on work and school and work. Eh i notice this is kind of a cycle that I go through lol. DAMNNN

So what I was gonna blog about was how I was agreeing that I'm always being cryptic. And I know why. Because I'm extremely afraid of putting things OUT THERE. It's like once I say it, I can't take it back. I can't pretend like I've never felt a certain way. So I'd rather keep things to myself.

Val can't stand it. It leaves too much room for regret. But somehow I think I'd rather live with the regret than the rejection. Though of course the only 2 times I've admitted to people that I like them (not counting that time when I mentioned in passing how I thought TS was cute and tong decided to out me), both times I've been reciprocated, which shouldn't actually be traumatizing for me. TWICE!!! That's kinda amazing to me lol. And I only did so when I was almost completely sure of how the other party felt. Well the 2 people were Melvin and my ex. I told melvin only after that time he almost died. LOL. I think coz I was having too much of an adrenaline rush.


Yea but it just makes me wonder sometimes because I NEVER meet guys who will openly tell me they like me. I mean like guys i LIKE. I get the all-out-desperate kind like *ahem* someone, who will go like, "Hey babe/princess/hot stuff/whatever, are you free soon? Can I date you?" Which is just PUKE-WORTHY. Or I get the 'trying-to-be-discreet' kind like "I'm lonely, can I msg you then?" after a long string of msgs. Which was just too bad i wasn't in the mood.

Otherwise, I get the stupid SEND-A-SONG kind. Which really just drives me nuts because HELLO??? Unless the song you choose to send/dedicate/whatever has lyrics that go, "CHERLYNN THIS IS ABOUT YOU, AND SPECIFICALLY ETCETCETC", else songs are just generally too damn vague!!!! Like xyz and I were saying the other day, there are too many parts to a song for it to be sending just ONE message. So how are we supposed to know which part you mean? The "I wanna break up" part? Or the "I'm moving on" part? Or the "i loved you at the beginning" part?!?!?!?! Yah. I hate it because it has not happened only once. It's fucking annoying. The worst thing is when they send you the song and then either ask you to listen to it and don't say anything, or become all cryptic like "oh the message is in the song". I'm like WTF?!

And then i turn around and there are girls like xyz or shui or uh, any of my other hot girlfriends. Who constantly get guys confessing to them. And you just start to wonder wth is wrong with yourself (apart from the fact that you're simply not as hot/desirable/etc). Just as you were about to blame it on ball-less Singaporean guys having no guts to say anything, you hear about all these other Singaporean guys who apparently HAVE balls. SO WTF IS WRONG!?!?!

Lol I am amused at how pissed off I sound. But yea anyway back to the main point. So if you can't take it that I'm too cryptic, then don't read it!!!! Haha. That's why I put it all in smaller words anyway coz it's for me to put 'out there' without being 'out there'. You don't have to read it.


And back to the point I was making at the very beginning. I don't know what to do anymore, coz upon reflection and hindsight and way too much thinking, I've decided that despite what others might think, there really wasn't anything in the first place. So I should really just move on. I don't want to, but it seems to me that we're at a point where nothing's gonna happen anymore. This point of view might change but with the way things are going, I seriously doubt so.

Don't think too much, don't ask on the blog. Ask in person. I'll tell. In the meantime, enjoy the fun-ness that is this blog. And remember, I love you guys =)

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tsk tsk. guess what. i was in church just earlier and for like almost half the homily i was thinking of what i wanted to blog about.

you know what the worst thing is? I FORGOT WHAT I WANTED TO SAYYYYY

damn.


that'll teach me to daydream in church. haha. so anyways, here's an update on my christmas doings. met HNL ppl for Xmas lunch at MindCafe Purvis!! So I went after Christmas Day mass at church and my parents gave me a lift so I was there at 1150am when we were supposed to meet at 1230nn. Yea we were supposed to meet at PS. Ok so when I arrived I just went to hang out at the shops first... Ended up buying a gorgeous pair of C&K shoes. Lol. So anyway, people started msging me to say they'd be late, which was super annoying. At about 1245pm I made my way to the MindCafe near PS.

When I got to the door, i realized the place was closed so I called the people up, checked my reservation time, REALIZED I WAS AT THE WRONG FREAKING PLACE!!! Lol. I'd gone to the Prinsep street one instead of the Purvis one!!. SIAN. I'm sure you guys can understand how i'd make that mistake ok. HEHE. So anyways, caught a cab and got to the Purvis one in like 10mins.

So anyways ok Kor was the first to turn up. And after he turned up he kept insisting that because i JUST arrived, he wasn't late. FINEEEEE whatever!! Idiot. Then liwen turned up so we started off with some 3 player games first. We played some really fun games like DIRTY MINDS and uh, I can't remember what else lol coz dirtyminds was so engaging WAHAHHAA. The basic premise of the game is that you're given clues to something that's entirely CLEAN, like a pot or a toaster or stuff, but the clues are DIRRRTYYY... Like I had to describe the word "Crane" and the clues I had to read were:

1) I assist an erection
2) Huge balls swing from me
3) i cannot rmb lol

yeaaa!!! super fun game. We played it later with William when he came and I must say william thoroughly enjoyed the game lol. It really is a boy's game hahaha. You know you wanna play this game hahahaha. So anyway, Jim came later and we played taboo, and Co-Motion which was charades with two teams at the same time, kinda fun.. Haha. Oh and the Wrong Game, which was very fun!!! Haha Then kor had to leave, and William arrived like super late. We played more taboo (Singapore version! Quite hilarious) and Jim left, then william's girlfriend weeting arrived... We played more DirtyMinds and the wronggame and yea.. Got tired and left.
Speaking of which a lotta people owe Liwen money! Remind me to facebook about it.

Had family dinner at RTC's Chinese Restaurant, which is really kinda lame. I mean, Chinese food for Xmas? Tsk. It was bad enough my family kept wanting to eat Chinese food when they were in the States for like all of 5 days. Wait, it wasn't just my family it was like all the people in the tour group save a FEW who were not from China or who were not OLD. Like, wtf? Yea well to each his own I guess. Meh.

Ok so here are some pics from Xmas lunch!






















hehe yea. There are tonnes of videos too so I'm gonna remember every single hilarious moment haha. And you know there are many. Omg i can't wait to go DeCoder's or MindCafe or Settler's again with another buncha friends. Wheeee.

Ok I'm gonna end this post with a huge shoutout to NICOLE!!!! Love ya babe hehe. I just gave her my url so she's reading. Yayyy.

i really cannot for the life of me remember what I was planning to blog about when I was in Church. Dang. Will prolly remember it later. Blog then. Ciao people and enjoy your day =)

just gimme a sign. because i really don't know if i should wait.

ooh yea. val mentioned i'm always so cryptic. lol. YES. I. AM! haha and with that, I remember what I wanted to blog about liao shit. LOL. well, i'll blog about it next time. HAHA. love you guys byeeee~

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i'm busy playing games. and hitting my piano =)


lol. hit up all the music, dance floor etc, then do the funky moves! the last one is kinda cool coz she laughs. haha.

or if you're more like me you'll like this one:



haha. but my fave games all come from maggie something shit i forgot the url. lemme go find them hmm... anyways. just the thoughts part of the blog..

so sometimes i wonder if i'm the only one waiting or are we both waiting.. hmm.. no way to know for sure though it seems like it is. if we both are waiting then there isn't really a need to wait. LOL. ok doesn't really make sense. but i'm feeling a lot less antsy than before, which is good =) all thanks to a little something called rationalization. also coz well, yea. it's all in the little things. if you don't know, well i want you to know i'm waiting. though it's kinda weird coz i don't know what's gonna happen in the future and if i'll keep waiting/wanting to wait. and i know for now i'll wait and i don't expect you to wait. although with time, everything seems less real, less important.. =(

on a side note: i may be going back to the states for about 10weeks in Summer next year!! Wheee! Can't wait. Some work-live-play in America program =) Hehehehe. Can't wait can't wait can't wait!!!

ok blog more next time. Had a great chat on the phone with xyz yesterday!! Hehe. Love ya babe. Let's chat more next time!!! Meet up soon? =)

I love all you guys~

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helloooooo

don't worry if i don't blog. it probably means i'm happy haha. yea, i'm in an ok mood =) had a rather fun past coupl'a days. lots of thinking going on but eh, not gonna do that now coz i'm gonna try and sleep at a relatively normal time for once ( it's 2.15am now lol).. I've been sleeping at 5 or 6am the past few days.. In fact, since I've returned to Singapore it seems I always fall asleep at around 7pm, wake up at around 10pm or 11pm, then stay awake till 5am before sleeping again, then waking at 11am. LOL.


so anyway, no Song of the day today coz the song I wanted to post was kinda angsty and I'm not in that place right now =) so Xmas was good, had fun with the family. Didn't take pics. Loot wasn't that great, some good gifts and some crappy so it kinda evened out.. Went out for Xmas lunch with HNL people today lol.was ok. Then Xmas dinner with family. Yup. Will have more detailed blog about it later.

In the meantime, I'm in the midst of changing my blog layout. I've actually set up a new blog already (http://myausterity.blogspot.com) but I have no idea if i wanna use it.. I'm actually fine with sticking with the Cherffalo url since it still kinda applies.. And my austerity sounds just a little bit morbid lol. Vote, you guys, whether you want me to move or stay! Tag and let me know haha. But anyways, the layout on the new blog right now is definitely gonna be the next layout so you can take a look! ahaha. I think it's cute. So yea. Big decision to make lol.


Alrighty, gonna blog more next time. I'm getting really broke and oh i bought a gorgeous new pair of shoes today. Lol. I'm not going out for the next 3 days so my bank account can take a breather. Tsk. Overspent and i NEEEEED TO WORKKKK. Sigh.

Right. See you guys next time, ciao!


i don't know if it's because of my effort, but thanks for trying! =) I appreciate it, and I'm happier for it

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yay more outings to update about..

so yesterday (Monday) I went to tong's to meet up with the MESC gang for major mj-ness! When I first arrived, LTA was there with his friend shawn/sean/whatever.. So LTA, S/S/W, Tong and Mich were playing yup. Then LTA relinquished his seat to me (at a fee of $4!!) haha and so it was my turn!

Lost very badly coz damn mich keeps jinxing me. Seriously i can't play with her. Always lose money with her around. So I lost $1.20, so totalled with what I had to pay LTA, i lost $5.20!! Then anyway, LTA, S/S/W and Mich had to leave to go to different things so tong & i hung and waited for Eu to make her grand arrival (to NO fanfare lol) It was way better but sa-ka isn't as fun as four players.. Haha. We had a steamboat dinner thanks to tong's mom. I have some random pics to show.



Game in play.. Haha. Tong was arguably the biggest winner of the sa-ka and well, i earned $1.. so you can very well imagine how Eunice did.








So we played till like, 1+ in the morning and had ta stop coz Eu and I were both tired lol. I was still jetlagged.. In fact i am STILL jetlagged. Coz I keep sleeping at odd timings and refuse to adhere to Singapore's time. I wanted to take the train home till I realized we missed the last train and I had this big epiphany about how there are things such as the LAST TRAIN/BUS and all. I'd forgotten all about that since I didn't take much public transport in the States. That's not to say the buses or trains ran all the time. I just didn't take public transport much. So yea we cabbed back. Damnnnn..


Got home at around 2, showered, flatironed my hair, slept at 5am or so! Expectedly, I overslept this morning and had to rearrange the timing for meeting up with Ann!!! We eventually met at 230pm at 6th Avenue (yay angmohs. LOLLL) We had a nice looong chat =) (my favorite kinda outing) and all. Haha. Ann took quite a few nice pics of/for me! Babe you've got a skill going here. Haha. Here're some of them.

















Nothing much else to report =) Spending a nice quiet Xmas eve tomorrow. Yay. Alrighty ciao people!

Labels: photoshop

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lalala. church today, then family gathering. sweet little yangster came and hugged me and wouldn't let go for awhile! i've missed him!




played with the cousins. britchy britchy!!! haha. but it was fun =) and 99!






forgot to show you guys the christmas tree we have at home. Mom used colorful lights this year instead of the regular gold ones. These ones blink also, so when I get home late at night i almost definitely tri[ and fall down the stairs coz the lights make your vision severely impaired. haha





yup.. haha. so as per the new tradition, here's today's Song:

James Morrison (yes i'm lovin' his music! this is an old one) - You Give Me Something

You only stay with me in the morning
You only hold me when I sleep
I was meant to tread the water
But now I've gotten in too deep

For every piece of me that wants you
Another piece backs away

You give me something
That makes me scared alright
This could be nothing
But I'm willing to give it a try
Please give me something
Because someday I might know my heart

You only waited up for hours
Just to spend a little time alone with me
And I can say I've never bought you flowers
I can't work out what they mean

I never thought that I'd love someone
That was someone else's dream

You give me something
That makes me scared alright
This could be nothing
But I'm willing to give it a try
Please give me something
Because someday I might call you from my heart

But it might be a second too late
And the words that I could never say
Are gonna come out anyway

You give me something
That makes me scared alright
This could be nothing
But I'm willing to give it a try
Please give me something

You give me something
That makes me scared alright
This could be nothing
But I'm willing to give it a try
Please give me something
Because someday I might know my heart

Know my heart, know my heart, know my heart


NICEEE. Haha. Another James Morrison song for tomorrow lol I'm listening to it now actually. But I shall keep it a mystery! Whee!

i give up. i don't want to pretend i'm anywhere else anymore. i'm happy where i am, torturing myself, right here waiting for you.

i'm holding on because i know sooner or later we'll move on. and when that day comes, i don't know what will happen. i admit i'm at a loss.

it's hard. very very hard.

lalala nothing much. in a surprisingly chipper mood. alrightyyyy ciao ppl! I'm STILL UNPACKING gosh.

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ooh la la. i'm blogging once a day now!! all for nothing eh, since you arseholes aren't reading!!!! i am royally pissed. HAHA. nahh

so anyways, had a nice day today, met up with shui and chatted and shopped for a loooong time haha.. then later at around 10pm, met siying for drinks and another loooong chat. was super nice =) i love just chatting and chatting and all. you babes are the best =D

Wit shui at Sakae Sushi =)







So i was also kinda happy coz when she first saw me, shui said she thought I lost weight. Haha. Yay! Here's kinda what I was wearing today. WARNING: rather ugly pic!



Lol. Better pic on facebook la. But yea. hmm. This pic was taken AFTER eats and stuff though, like after shui and I went back home.. Haha so got the tummy effect yah. yuckyyy! lol.

Ok then later wit siying at Starbucks BPP!



Ok so another thing I did was try on one more of my dresses to see if it would finally fit coz maybe my boobs shrunk when I came back to SG. The damn dress is too tight in the bust!! So anyway, yea and I was having a freaking freaking good hair day haha so yea, see the dress and the hair! lol


Yup yup. The main pic shows my hair kinda short... and I know my parting's different haha coz I just clipped my hair up the whole day when I'm at home yah. But anyways yea i'm contemplating cutting a shorter hair length! Maybe to the length it is in the main pic! What say you guys!??!? And bad news... My boobs didn't shrink, dress didn't grow, so I pretty much can't breathe in this dress. Shame. I love it lots! Haha. Ohwells. I'll probs give it to someone who has no boobs (coughs *mich* coughs).. I wanna buy a new white angelic dress!!!! Heh.



So anyways, have another song to post lol. A song a day. Might implement that. This song's been in my head for awhile!

James Morrison ft Nelly Furtado - Broken Strings

James:
Let me hold you
For the last time

It’s the last chance to feel again
But you broke me
Now I can’t feel anything

When I love you
It’s so untrue
I can’t even convince myself
When I’m speaking
It’s the voice of someone else

Oh it tears me up
I tried to hold but it hurts too much
I tried to forgive but it’s not enough
To make it all okay

You can’t play on broken strings
You can’t feel anything
That your heart don’t want to feel
I can’t tell you something that ain’t real

Oh the truth hurts
A lie is worse
I can’t like it anymore
And I love you a little less than before

Nelly:

Oh what are we doing
We are turning into dust
Playing house in the ruins of us

Running back through the fire
When there’s nothing left to save
It’s like chasing the very last train
When it’s too late

Oh it tears me up
I tried to hold but it hurts too much
I tried to forgive but it’s not enough
To make it all okay

Together:

You can’t play our broken strings
You can’t feel anything
That your heart don’t want to feel
I can’t tell you something that ain’t real

Oh the truth hurts
And lies worse
I can’t like it anymore
And I love you a little less than before

But we’re running through the fire
When there’s nothing left to say
It’s like chasing the very last train
When we both know it’s too late

You can’t play our broken strings
You can’t feel anything
That your heart don’t want to feel
I can’t tell you something that ain’t real

Oh the truth hurts
And lies worse
I can’t like it anymore
And I love you a little less than before
Oh and I love you a little less than before

Let me hold you for the last time
It’s the last chance to feel again

Nice song. You guys should go listen to it!


It's hard to give up when you don't really want to

---

lol i'm blogging again!!! damn i'm blogging regularly now eh... it means i have no life! haha. well yea i've been slacking around the past 2 days... was supposed to meet shui today but well she couldn't make it so we're meeting tomorrow instead. and damn arh ben! haha. you're gonna have a hard time booking me next time!

tomorrow should be fun =) can't wait to meetup with shui again. then Sunday is pedi with val and family gathering at night.. Monday with Ann =) Tuesday tentatively free, to the best of my recollection... Christmas lunch with HNL people! yay!

I wanna go to a Xmas eve thing! Though there's gonna be a family thing at my house.. Maybe i'll go to a party with some friends and my bro! WAHAHA. There's a thought.

i need a new organizer lol. i stopped arranging meetups with people coz I realized I didn't have a place to make all the appointments on.. Right now I'm using my UB book but i need a smaller, more sturdy one. Hah. Time to buy a new one! Or someone can get me that for Xmas. Lol.


was pissed off to find today that i have lost access to some websites coz I'm not in the states anymore. ANNOYED. and upset. coz it just reminds me of the things I had. I'm getting more and more annoyed with my parents too coz they keep wanting to know/control what I do. And I got quite a scare today when I realized how huge my belly was getting. Thank goodness it was just pre-mense bloat. But yea if I put on weight I'm gonna blame it on my parents. What is up with having 3 meals a day!?!??! I only want to have 2 meals a day thankyou. Don't you feel full after breakfast/lunch?

I'm hitting the gym well, soon. Don't look at me! I did it when I was at UB ok! Assholes. Haha. And I can go alone too, so siying you can heave a sigh of relief lol. But yea. While home is comfortable and all, I definitely miss the States a lot. And the people. If i had the chance I'd do some things differently..


Mariah Carey - For the Record

For the record
You oughta know
You wasn't thinking
When you let me go

But whatever
That's how it goes
Win some you lose some
And others you hold in your heart

Why it gets so hard
Tears you all apart
Even though you try to let go
No, no, no

Suddenly you're here
And it's so surreal
And I don't know
What the deal

Cause when I'm looking in your eyes
Feels like the first time
Give me one good reason why
We can't just press rewind
I don't wanna spend my life
Thinking what it could've been like
If we had another try (one time)
Like back in the day
That look on your face
Feels like, the first time

Them other irregularities
They can't compete with MC
The whole entire world can tell
That you love yourself some me

People see ya know
Asking all about
Me and how they always thought we
Were so perfect together

Let's re-write the end
Start over again
And it's gon go better now

Cause when I'm looking in your eyes
Feels like the first time
Give me one good reason why
We can't just press rewind
I don't wanna spend my life
Thinking what it could've been like
If we had another try (one time)
Like back in the day
That look on your face
Feels like, the first time

For the record
You'll always be a part of me
No matter what you do
And for the record
Can't nobody say
I didn't give my all to you

And for the record
I told you underneath the stars
That you belong to me
For the record
It's obvious that
We just can't let go of us, honey

Cause when I'm looking in your eyes
Feels like the first time
Give me one good reason why
We can't just press rewind
I don't wanna spend my life
Thinking what it could've been like
If we had another try (one time)
Like back in the day
That look on your face
Feels like, the first time

Cause when I'm looking in your eyes
Feels like the first time
Give me one good reason why
We can't just press rewind
I don't wanna spend my life
Thinking what it could've been like
If we had another try (one time)
Like back in the day
That look on your face
Feels like, the first time

For the record, baby
Now you know, baby

Yuppp.. Do things differently so there'd be no regrets.. Haha i know you guys are gonna go " I TOLD YOU SO" but yea, I know.. I'm just too much of a coward ok!!! Gah. So anyways, just a note that I intend to move on. So yea. I don't think there's a point in waiting. I know one of my prev entries was all "I understand" and all... I kinda do and I kinda don't and I wish everything could be WAY clearer but it can't so it's a lot smarter to forget about it. Heh.

And I'm a smart girl! Haha. There are too many things here that bear too much similarity to melvin's case.. And you guys all remember how horrible that was. Can't take it. Haha. So yup, please help me move on, guys!

I wanna go clubbing/pubbing asap! =D Let me know ok! heh. Alright, loves~

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so i'm home

and everything just feels kinda weird. for now. i suppose i'll get used to it all soon. colorful money, people speaking mandarin to me, new tv, new internet, new stuff in my room..

i've yet to unpack! there's too much stuff! i'm gonna need help lol. speaking of which, thanks to all who turned up at such an ungodly hour to pick me up...

Ann
Ben
Edna
Siying
Tong
Val


thanks guys! appreciate it. and sorry for constantly talking about US stuff haha. anw, after hanging at my house for awhile, the girls left and val&i went to IMM.. thanks babe for the bday prezzie!!! love it =) we had pepperlunch, which I hadn't had in awhileeee, then we shopped and I spent like $200!!!! omggg. but i finally bought my SJP Covet, which i'd been coveting for awhile, so that's ok haha.

then we hung at Lot 1, and my house then val cabbed home... Then my parents got home at around 130am.. Yea..


lazed around today! was fun. am glad the internet is fixed lol.


howcanwebecertainofanythingwhennothingiscertain?andthink oylsbcmaliyl. andidunnoifewnactiaw. coznothingiscertain!

new blog soon. ciao!

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i think i understand now why it had to be like that

and i know how it feels, i think i know how you feel

and that's enough. =)


we can always wait for another time. and for now, the memories will be enough=D

i'm not so angsty anymore


mi erwohne dna ruoye hievyrtgen

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UB Anthem (not to be confused with Summer Anthem)


so i thought I'd post a list of songs that affected me the most during my time here. These songs will ALWAYS remind me of UB and the people involved with each song. Included lyrics for the heck of it


Adele - Chasing Pavements

I've made up my mind,
Don't need to think it over,
If I'm wrong I am right,
Don't need to look no further,
This ain't lust,
I know this is love but,

If I tell the world,
I'll never say enough,
Cause it was not said to you,
And that's exactly what I need to do,
If I'm in love with you,

Should I give up,
Or should I just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere,
Or would it be a waste?
Even If I knew my place should I leave it there?
Should I give up,
Or should I just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere

I'd build myself up,
And fly around in circles,
Waiting as my heart drops,
And my back begins to tingle
Finally could this be it

Should I give up,
Or should I just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere,
Or would it be a waste?
Even If I knew my place should I leave it there?
Should I give up,
Or should I just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere

Should I give up,
Or should I just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere,
Or would it be a waste?
Even If I knew my place should I leave it there?
Should I give up,
Or should I just keep on chasing pavements?
Should I just keep on chasing pavements?

Should I give up,
Or should I just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere,
Or would it be a waste?
Even If I knew my place should I leave it there?
Should I give up,
Or should I just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere


Scotland Yard Gospel Choir - Bet You Never Thought It Would Be Like This

You've cut yourself from existance
for the sake of tradition
just to be alone
but all you found was a frown
and that acting the clown
can turn your thoughts to stone
so you abandon your dreams
for a city of screams and a necktie
and you sit and you think
of the tears you would shed if you let yourself cry
I bet you never thought it would be like this

Yet you're saved by the graves
of old men whose names play on the jukebox
and when you see records turning
'round people and sounds
you want to play your part
so you sing lonesome songs
of things that're long gone
you're kissing them goodbye
and with your soul 'neath your feet
you're hitting the streets in search of a collective sigh
I'll bet you never thought it would be like this

yeah, we're all just a start
a small part of centuries moving on
so you grab something good
and hold on 'cause the world's gone wrong
and you can't go back home
cause you're restless and scared with something to prove
that nothing should be left but burial grounds
with nothing to gain and nothing to lose
bet you never thought it would be like this




Eye Alaska - Roll Right Over

I'm trying hard to focus tonight but my mind is wandering
So I step outside to catch a breath of air
I needed it
I'm trying to conceal it
But I want to get away tonight
Don't you see you and me don't need anyone?
So lets just turn and leave
You will see oceans bluer when the waves just
Roll right over
We belong together so lets
Roll right over
Making up for lost time baby lets just
Roll right over
Cause we belong together so lets
Roll right over
I'm trying hard to speak but I can't speak proper
So I just shut my mouth and I do what I am told to do
I can't conclude if I should fall in love with you
Maybe what they say is true
"Love is speechless"
Don't you see you and me don't need anyone?
So lets just turn and leave
You will see oceans bluer when the waves just
Roll right over
We belong together so lets
Roll right over
Making up for lost time baby lets just
Roll right over
Cause we belong together so lets
Roll right over
I've never seen the ocean so clear as tonight
It's raining overhead and it's almost just right
But I could make it better if we left tonight
For an island where we could sit and watch the waves just


Eye Alaska - Through Willows and Streams



Joey Eppard - Balloon

Goodbye,

Bye my baby
Now there's no
one can save me
You just keep
On ascending
While I sleep
Through the ending x 5

There's a balloon
That I let go of
I'll see you soon
I miss you so long
I knew you'd rise
But not this far
I searched the skies
For where you are x5

If you go and play with fire then expect to lose some games
Most of all I feel this fall will land me in the flames
And if it does I wonder was it all for nothing then
But if I had never tried how could I try again
Again x2

A new year rise
But not this far
I search your eyes
for where you are
Did I have to cheat
To find the anwser
Love is only heat
Where your hands were


Chris Thile - I'm Nowhere You're Everything

It's not yet 6
The suns not up
And father take away this cup is running through my throbbing head
Because if he had I'd be dead
Feeling like I'm feeling now
In between the skies and clouds
Where everyone's identity is just a picture card they need

I came from California with an appetite for my own myths
Of music, love, and what they mean
I'm told it's borderline obscene
I tried to write this song before
But had no one to write it for
My fellow travelers vacant stares leave it up for you to care

I could write a song and have the Lord put you and me in a cup he tries to pour out
Looking in at the passengers from the wing
I'm nowhere and you're everything

You came from Illinois with a cup of your very own to sip
Never on route for very long
Just there and doing something wrong
Or so your friends and parents said
But if you hadn't you'd be dead
What you've been given doesn't scare me
All your sights and sounds prepare me

I could write a song and have the Lord put you and me in a cup he tries to pour out
Looking in at the passengers from the wing
I'm nowhere and you're everything

Damn this cup
Bring me a bowl
If I can't saturate my soul
With you and him who drank it first
And last I'm ready for the worst
It's way past two and you want me there
Well he needs me here
So you have to share
I'm crying 'cause I'm in love with you
You're crying because you have no clue

I could write a song and have the Lord put you and me in a cup he tries to pour out
Looking in at the passengers from the wing
I'm nowhere and you're everything


Sean Kingston - Take You There

Rihanna ft Justin Timberlake - Rehab

[Verse 1:]
Baby, baby
When we first met
I never felt something so strong
You were like my lover
And my best friend
All wrapped into one
With a ribbon on it
And all of a sudden
When you left
I didn't know how to follow
It's like a shot
That spun me around
And now my heart left
I feel so empty and hollow

[Pre Chorus:]
And I'll never give myself to another
The way I gave it to you
Don't even recognize
The ways you hit me
Do you?
It's gonna take a miracle to bring me back
And you're the one to blame

[Chorus:]
And now I feel like, oh
You're the reason
Why I'm thinking
I don't wanna smoke all
These cigarettes no more
I guess this is what I get
For wishful thinking
I should've never let you into my door
Next time you wanna go on and leave
I should just let you go on and do it
It's not amusing like I believe

It's like I checked into rehab
Baby, you're my disease
It's like I checked into rehab
Baby, you're my disease

I gotta check into rehab
'Cause baby you're my disease
I gotta check into rehab
'Cause baby you're my disease

[Verse 2:]
Damn,
Ain't it crazy when you're love slams?
You'll do anything for the one you love
'Cause anytime that you needed me
I'd be there
It's like you were my favorite drug
The only problem is
That you was using me
In a different way that I was using you
But now that I know, it's not meant to be
You gotta go, I gotta wean myself off of you

[Pre Chorus:]
And I'll never give myself to another
The way I gave it to you
Don't even recognize
The ways you hit me
Do you?
It's gonna take a miracle to bring me back
And you're the one to blame

[Chorus:]
And now I feel like, oh
You're the reason
Why I'm thinking
I don't wanna smoke all
These cigarettes no more
I guess this is what I get
For wishful thinking
I should've never let you into my door
Next time you wanna go on and leave
I should just let you go on and do it
It's not amusing like I believe

It's like I checked into rehab
Baby, you're my disease
It's like I checked into rehab
Baby, you're my disease

I gotta check into rehab
'Cause baby you're my disease
I gotta check into rehab
'Cause baby you're my disease

[Bridge: Timbaland and Justin Timberlake]
Now ladies, gimme that
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, now gimme that
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

Now ladies, gimme that
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, now gimme that
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Oh, oh, oh, oh

[Verse:]
Oh
You're the reason
Why I'm thinking
I don't wanna smoke all
These cigarettes no more
I guess this is what I get
For wishful thinking
I should've never let you into my door
Next time you wanna go on and leave
I should just let you go on and do it
It's not amusing like I believe

It's like I checked into rehab
Baby, you're my disease
It's like I checked into rehab
Baby, you're my disease

I gotta check into rehab
'Cause baby you're my disease
I gotta check into rehab
'Cause baby you're my disease


John Mayer - Slow Dancing in a Burning Room

It's not a silly little moment,
It's not the storm before the calm.
This is the deep and dying breath of
This love that we've been working on.

Can't seem to hold you like I want to
So I can feel you in my arms.
Nobody's gonna come and save you,
We pulled too many false alarms.

We're going down,
And you can see it too.
We're going down,
And you know that we're doomed.
My dear,
We're slow dancing in a burning room.

I was the one you always dreamed of,
You were the one I tried to draw.
How dare you say it's nothing to me?
Baby, you're the only light I ever saw.

I'll make the most of all the sadness,
You'll be a bitch because you can.
You try to hit me just to hurt me
So you leave me feeling dirty
Because you can't understand.

We're going down,
And you can see it too.
We're going down,
And you know that we're doomed.
My dear,
We're slow dancing in a burning room.

Go cry about it - why don't you?
Go cry about it - why don't you?
Go cry about it - why don't you?

My dear, we're slow dancing in a burning room,
Burning room,
Burning room,
Burning room,
Burning room.

Don't you think we oughta know by now?
Don't you think we shoulda learned somehow?
Don't you think we oughta know by now?
Don't you think we shoulda learned somehow?
Don't you think we oughta know by now?
Don't you think we shoulda learned somehow?
Don't you think we shoulda learned somehow?
Don't you think we shoulda learned somehow?
Don't you think we shoulda learned somehow?
Don't you think we shoulda learned somehow?


Collective Soul - Needs

All around me, I see what weakness has made
Too much tomorrow, I think Ill take all today
Am I a poison, am I a thorn in the side
Am I a picture perfect subject tonight

And I dont need nobody
And I dont need the weight of words
To find a way to crash on through
And I dont need nobody
And I just need to learn the depth
Or doubt of faith to fall into

Here I slumber to awaken my daze
I find convenience in this savior I save
Am I a prison, am I a source of dire news
Am I a picture perfect reason for you

And I dont need nobody
And I dont need the weight of words
To find a way to crash on through
I dont need nobody
And I just need to learn the depth
Or doubt of faith to fall into

In this time of substitute
Its my needs Ive answered to
All the while
And all the hope that I invest
Turns to signals of distress
All the while

I dont need nobody
And I dont need the weight of words
To find a way to crash on through
And I dont need nobody
I just need to learn the depth
Or doubt of faith to fall into

Doo doo doo doo doo, youre a lightning
Doo doo doo doo doo, yeah, when the water runs deep
Doo doo doo doo doo, yeah, youre a lightning
Doo doo doo doo doo, now I cry my soul to sleep

Doo doo doo doo doo, youre all I need
Doo doo doo doo doo, youre all I need
Doo doo doo doo doo, youre all I need
Doo doo doo doo doo, youre all I need

Doo doo doo doo doo
Doo doo doo doo doo
Doo doo doo doo doo
Doo doo doo doo doo


Kylie Minogue - All I See

Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh

Weekend has arrived
Everybody's tryin' to find
Something to get into
My friends wanna go out
But I can't cancel my plans
Got a date with my baby
He's taking me out
So I'm gonna catch up with you
Some other day
Gotta go
Can't make him wait
Tonight

Have to make sure I'm looking hot
'Cause we're going to our favourite spot
Till the morning we're gonna rock
Boy you rock me up (yeah)

My baby
Doesn't matter what's going on
Or who's around us
All I see is you
Right now they're playing our song
Dance floor is ours
All I see is you
The DJ's got me feelin' like I did
When I first met you
And there's nothing that can break us apart
In two
'Cause all I see is you

I get lost in time
When I'm lookin' in your eyes
And we're body to body
I don't want you to rush
'Cause you're feeling like heaven to me
Follow the rhythm
And keep it real close
In the dark everything goes
Love it better when you touch (don't stop)
Baby 'cause we've just begun

Have to make sure I'm looking hot
'Cause we're going to our favourite spot
Till the morning we're gonna rock
Boy you rock me up (yeah)

My baby
Doesn't matter what's going on
Or who's around us
All I see is you
Right now they're playing our song
Dance floor is ours
All I see is you
The DJ's got me feelin' like I did
When I first met you
And there's nothing that can break us apart
In two
'Cause all I see is you

Oh, oh, oh
Please don't let me go oh, oh
My love for you's growing
More and more and more
As we move across the floor, oh, oh
'Cause all I see is you
'Cause all I see is you
DJ spin my record again

My baby
Doesn't matter what's going on
Or who's around us
All I see is you
Right now they're playing our song
Dance floor is ours
All I see is you
The DJ's got me feelin' like I did
When I first met you
And there's nothing that can break us apart
In two
'Cause all I see is you

My baby
Doesn't matter what's going on
Or who's around us
All I see is you
Right now they're playing our song
Dance floor is ours
All I see is you
The DJ's got me feelin' like I did
When I first met you
And there's nothing that can break us apart
In two
'Cause all I see is you


James Morrison - You Make It Real

Mmmm
There's so much craziness surrounding me
There's so much going on it gets hard to breathe
All my faith has gone you bring it back to me
You make it real for me
Well I'm not sure of my priorities
I've lost sight of where I'm meant to be
And like holy water washing over me

You make it real for me
And IIIIIIIII'm running to you baby
Youuu are the only one who save me
That's whyyy I've been missing you lately
Cause you make it real for me

When my head is strong but my heart is weak
I'm full of hurricanes and uncertainty
But I can find the words
You teach my heart to speak

You make it real for meee yeaaa
And iiiiiiiiii'm running to you baby
You are the only one who save me
That's whyyy I've been missing you lately
Cause you make it real for me

Everybodies talking in words
I don't understand
You got to be the only one
Who knows just who I am
And you shine in the distance
I hope I can make it through
Cause the only place
That I want to be
Is right back home with you

I guess there's so much more
I have to learn
But if you're here with me
I know which way to turn
You always give me somewhere,
Somewhere I can learn

You make it real for me
And iiiii'm running to you baby
Cause you are the only one who save me
That's why I've been missing you lately
Cause you make it real for me
You make it real for me

Gym Class Heroes - Cookie Jar

Anberlin - Dismantle/Repair
One last glance from a taxi cab
Images scar my mind
Four weeks've felt like years
Since your full attention was all mine
The night was young and so were we
Talked about life, God, death, and your family
Didn't want any promises,
Just my undivided honesty, and you said

Oh oh, things are gonna change now for the better
Oh oh, things are gonna change, oh, they're gonna change

I am the patron saint of lost causes
A fraction of who I once believed (change)
only a matter of time
Opinions I would try and rewrite
If life had background music playing your song
I've got to be honest, I tried to escape you
But the orchestra plays on, and they sang

Oh oh, things are gonna change now for the better
Oh oh, things are gonna change

[Chorus 2x]
Hands, like secrets, are the hardest thing to keep from you
Lines and phrases, like knives, your words can cut me through
Dismantle me down (repair)
You dismantle me
You dismantle me

Give me time to prove
Prove I want the rest of yours (prelude)
Call this a prelude to a lifetime of you
It's not that I hang on every word
I hang myself on what you repeat
It's not that I keep hanging on
I'm never letting go

[Chorus 2x]
Hands, like secrets, are the hardest thing to keep from you
Lines and phrases, like knives, your words can cut me through
Dismantle me down (repair)
You dismantle me
You dismantle me

Save me from myself
Save me from myself
Help me save me from myself
Save me from myself

Oh oh, things are gonna change now for the better
Oh oh, things are gonna change

[Chorus 4x]
Hands, like secrets, are the hardest thing to keep from you
Lines and phrases, like knives, your words can cut me through
Dismantle me down (repair)
You dismantle me
You dismantle me



Ah yes, being a dj has its benefits. I've been exposed to lots and lots of different songs by people with varied tastes and I'm actually very pleased with what I've heard. White boy cousin DING has been the best recommend-er so far, introducing me to amazing songs such as Needs and You Make It Real... The rest of the white music is awesome too!

Again, regular readers will know what to look out for in this entry.

Anyway. I'm packing up. Leaving soon. Am heartbroken. Cried a bit. Expect to cry a lot more tomorrow. Oh wells.


Blog:

不明白为什么事情会变得那么快， 那么坏。也不知道自己做错了些什么， 不知道可以弥补什么。 不了解为什么这种事情一直发生在我身上

对自己说不要去想它（他）， 可是偏偏去找回失去的时光， 去挖掘回忆里记录下的一点一滴， 也不知道是想沉浸在快乐的回忆里或是在折磨自己。

来到这里之前根本没想到这种东西，也有对自己说不可以搞感情的东西， 因为结局一定是大悲剧。是他自己爬进我生命里，挖了一个洞，钻进去住。愚笨的我还让自己放下防卫。太苯了！

破碎的心， 只可以怪自己太天真，太愚蠢。

可是到现在， 我还在这儿傻傻地等。

Ok. Loves. bye guys

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